In Short

I am 21 now...and have all of another 359 days to continue dreaming about what my role in the great equilibrium of the world will be when I grow-up.

No significant difference in maturity I don't think from the night before I turned 21... that I can tell so far. meh.

haha breaking news- tried to write the word cost and it came out as coats... no idea... then my friend just asked me to go see 42nd the musical with her- I haven't the slightest clue what it's about, which makes sense since it probably is really well known. She got annoyed when I asked if had anything to do with Aids...hahaha

Anecdote: Music Lounge Misc. - These two girls are arguing about RENT ( I don't care enough to formulate any real opinions of it). One (a) says it's dumb and the other girl (b) has every song memorized backwards and forward. Well, whenever the girl a who didn't like it would back the other girl b into the corner, girl b would get red faced and passionately raise her voice to say "How could you say that??! they all have AIDS!!!!!!! What's wrong with you??" This went on for 20 minutes+ (?) stayed for a 2 minute laugh then went to get food; when walking past them after the food and on the way to class they were still at it.
...
anyway=
on to more pretentious indulgences- I hope to successfully put it all under the guise of the "sharing is caring " concpet though (yea...it makes me feel less neurotic_)- Recently, I have encountered 4 things that have caused me to pause for a moment and reavaluate my previous post on here. The first was a review in the Washington Post for the movie "Away We Go", directed by Mr. Mendes(American Beuaty). This article jeered my generation for thinking we, our problems and struggles, are different from all the previous 19 and 20 year olds that walked the earth. Joking about how all the "coming of age films" before us centered around main characters that were between the ages of 8-17 and now the new "cute" ages range from 25-35...after all we only get cuter as we age i've heard...? The film addresses a few of the issues that come from for waiting till we are in our mid to late 30's to start wanting families; miscarriages and parent's ready to start taking back control of their lives again. The other was an Article in the New Yorker (June 29 issue) declaring the new popular and agreed upon age to start a family was 33-40; the arguement is that both soon to be parent's are financial stable at that age (non of the articles or movies seem to address why that may be). Not to digress though, the article also discussed popular parenting books. Being consumed everywhere these days are the books written by parents who openly admit to being "awful" parents. The article reminds us that there is a difference between the word parent and mother/ father. All the parenting blogs are crawling with people admitting how inept they are when it comes to child rearing- like it's cool. Shockingly, the article points out how some women do not hold their first baby till it is theirs; instead, we leave it up to a bunch of experts from Europe who never have had children before to teach us the ways. I see that I am getting carried away haha as usual... look it up for yourself. :)

I have a 21 year old friend who happens to not be in school or employed who tells me he feels like he needs to be making something of himself. Of course, I asked him what he meant by that (returning to school, getting an Associate's Degree at a CC, Marriage ::the marriage one was a joke::, Army, etc.). And in a tired unnsure voice he said that he had not put much thought into it. I was a little confused. Apparently, then, this want to leave the nest and be your own person stuff is inherent (who woulda thunk it?) or it is that our American culture is so "have it your way" that it doesn't give us any direction or set any real standard anymore. (oh, spap!)


What I would like to know is:
Since when was laughing it off and not thinking about it a real acceptable social excuse for "fuck-ups"? (Away We Go ref.)


*End with an Indie moment that seems to be setting the tone for the rest of the day- I got into work at 8 am, an hour earlier than I usually do, and gave my greeting to the Officer at the front desk who responded by jolting upright in his chair and giving me a piercing gaze that put in place a sense of immediacy in the moment where-in it was all just that, a second after he let go of the tension and lazily let his back re-touch the chair while saying with an easy sigh, "Today, everything is going to be moving in slow motion. Have a good day, Miss.".

ps this was a lot of writing... hope it wasn't too sore of an experience if you read it all, with all the tense mistakes, contractions, and most likely organizational issues - oops, my bad! there I go apologizing for something that could easily be addressed and fixed. I am, after all, only Twenty-one, geeze.